WE ALL MUST STOP MISAPPROPRIATING MIDGET CULTURE

c 2015 Tristan Winter

 

Starting with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, individuals try on many different personality roles in their life’s journey, and we in the privileged west have been increasingly gutting entire peoples in our consumerist approach to relationships. But this most henious misappropriation of a minority culture is the last we dare to admit because it is impossible for us to fully appreciate the offence that is caused by heteros and GBLTs of all hues mimicking midgets in an attempt to be ‘down with the kids.’ Do you truly think that we are entitled to share the same post-colonial expressions as them? We’ve all seen it; this cultural misappropriation can range from vocal imitations to raucous games of strip poker in unorthodox spaces.

It is time you all confront your conscience and count how many times you might have unthinkingly abased yourselves by borrowing the midget identity. While we can identify with the positive and affirming messages that are lofted by powerful dinks such as Mini Me, Nubbin the Wrestler, et al, we aren’t them, and we need to admit that this misappropriation of midget culture can be hurtful. Honestly, do you imagine that you too should be able to sport a miniature red devil costume, sneak up behind a woman in a crowd and stab her in the ass with your pitchfork before darting away, laughing madly? Face it: your fantasies show an incredible lack of sensitivity awareness.

Next week: How to Twerk Delicious Flautas!